My grammy once told me, “Baby, don’t sleep with the help.” I was 16, totally hot, and into this smokin’ Cuban who did light housework for her. I didn’t seriously have plans to do anything except gawk (what 16-year-old has any kind of game, you know?) but my grammy put it in my mind as a delicious forbidden snack. Grammy’s housework got heavier and the Cuban had hardly any muscle definition, so the working relationship dissolved. The message, however, stayed.
I spent four years in a condo and then finally decided to sell it because of the whole Barbie Dream House vibe it had. I read this article online about alternative living so I looked into getting an agent who specialized in alternative, non-urban dwellings. A lot of people say they do alternative spaces, but then you get there and it’s like a subdivided, foreclosed Safeway and they’re trying to sell it for $400 a square foot and it’s like, seriously? I wanted an arboreal, if possible, so I looked up a local woodworker to see about building my own place on some land I inherited.
Woodworkers, cabinetmakers, and carpenters are universally babes. Every single one I met was rugged and charming. The most rugged and most charming one was married, but had a friend who worked in real estate. Obviously, I had found my agent.
Sam was the almost too professional during our first meeting. By the end of it, we had four dwellings for me to look at and one I was really interested in. Over my multi-week search, however, it became obvious that we were into each other. Our first kiss happened literally inside a hill (a modern repro of one of those kick-ass Lord of the Rings hobbit houses). Every house we checked out after that was a milestone in our relationship. One apartment had a built-in hot spring hot tub that got hotter than expected. Four exhausting and exhilarating months after we first started my house hunt, Sam made it a moot point and asked me to move in. My condo had moved really quickly, so all my stuff was already boxed in storage, and I thought, why not? Things were perfect.
It didn’t strike me as strange that Sam insisted, for some perfunctorily-explained insurance reason, that I was put on the lease. After all, real estate agents know things regular people don’t when it comes to housing. Lots of people go through purges of their stuff when a new significant other moves in. Boxes get moved out, anything that reminds that person of their ex, even if it’s a completely functional espresso maker, gets thrown out. That’s normal. What’s not normal is coming home from work on a Thursday to find that there is not one single trace of Sam, your real estate agent / live-in partner, but there is a letter from a brokerage firm billing you for their agent’s commission!
I should have listened to you, Grammy. I dated an employee and what do I have to show for it? A literal god forsaken tree house.
This would really be funny, if it was not real life. What a jerk from hades. I think I might have sued him for whatever a good lawyer could legally come up with. Fraud of some kind comes to mind. Very well written story..
It’s too bad that people can’t just separate um… “fooling around” with the rest of their lives. There’s no need for anything like this to get ugly as long as both parties would just avoid nastiness. But I guess it’s just human nature to mess things up….I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.
This is a really good story, but sad as well. We tend to trust most professionals from the get go, only to be let down, conned and hurt by them in the end. It is so much worse if you actually develop feelings for the person, and even consider a future with them.
Thank you for sharing your story, it is a good reminder on keeping professional relationships exactly what they are, professional.
This is one good example and also a lesson to not mix up professional and private.
I definitely agree with what everyone else said. Your story is so frightening! I guess one has to be careful prior to making any legal decisions. Seems like he was manipulated by Sam. I wonder how common this kind of story is.
Well, I always think it’s best not to mix business with pleasure.
Very sad story in my opinion. Well written story and I am sorry for everybody involved in this situation, and not only into this particular situation but in this type of situation.
Haha, that’s funny. Yea, you are never supposed to blur the line between business and pleasure. That only causes trouble and can get you into situations that you can’t always control. Great post and good advice right there.
Wow, what a story! It seems like this Sam guy does this type of “scamming” often. He is a smooth talker whom knows how to get what he wants. The audacity to lay with peoples minds and emotions, this I wil never understand. We are all only human and we all make mistakes. I hope you learned from this terrible experience. I have to say that this guy has no shame. How do you just flat out leave someone without a word and still expect to be paid off the person. He is bad business, but engaging in any type of business relationship unprofessionally is worse.
I think that not only is it unethical and immoral to sleep with your realtor but its a conflict of interest.
I’m sorry but not going to say you didn’t have this one coming to you. Try not to look at every man as if he is the next snack. Maybe if every professional did not appear as “the help” you wouldn’t view them in such a degrading manner.
How is someone you just met, then subsequently fling yourself at becomes the loser of the story. water sinks to it’s own level. Shop for realty with your mind not your pants.
This is a sad story, but also very funny. It sort of seems karmic in a way, although I don’t think you deserved to be stuck in the position you are in. Did you end up looking into your legal options?
It is not proffesional and attitude might be misleading simply because there is another interest in such a relationship.
It is not proffesional. Attitude might be misleading simply because there is another interest in such a relationship.
On the oher hand love does not recognise boundries. if it is true love then nothing will stop it.
It’s a sad story, and a bit frightening as well. To not only betrayed emotionally but financially exploited as well must have been quite shattering.
Considering her background as she describes it, I can see how she could fall prey to someone like Sam. But getting swept up in emotions and passion with someone you barely know is problematic from the start.
And if that person is your real estate agent, it is simply not appropriate. It is in neither party’s best interest. Either the personal relationship or the professional relationship should have ended abruptly. Sadly, neither did in this case.
Oh my goodness, wild when real life is as crazy as the soap operas! It is hard though when you are working in close proximity to someone and talking about such m=personal matters as selling a house (even though it’s business, it is such a personal business!).
I wouldn’t have slept with Sam. But I don’t swing that way, anyway.
Talk about conflict of interest!! I feel like we’re talking about a bad reality tv show! Yikes!
I just had one worse. Thirty minutes after a closing on Friday my client, the seller, calls and lets me know he’s been sleeping with the Buyer’s agent! WHAT?? I’m tempted to call her managing broker, that’s so unethical, so out of line and… WHAT?